Auzzy's final letter to us from the mission field…

August 4, 2014

Dear Fam, 

Well I hope your not worrying too much. It was a pretty tough week. But things have settled and I’ve had more time to accept everything that has happened.

So it all started on Tuesday, we went to the doctor for my lungs and everything was good. 

Then they took an X-ray and found something that looked weird, so to see what was going on they took some other scan (I’m not exactly sure what it was) but in Spanish its a radiografia.

That was super weird because, it was like a hole that my body went through. I had this needle in my vain, and they shot something into my arm making my body get super, super hot. 

So they do that, and then I’m sitting in a wheel chair out of the room and there were like 8 doctors looking at my results, so I’m freaking out a little and really nervous.

Afterwards they take me back to my comp and we sit in a room and wait for like 4 hours. 

Finally the lung specialist comes in and tells me about my Pneumonia and then he tells me about the tumor. He told me that the tumor was really, really, really big, but Benigno, which means its okay that its not doing any damage, but I understood, really, really, really big and Veneno, which is Venomous, and so I thought that it was a lot worse.

Next I was told they were going to take it out in the same week, so I was really scared. But then the tumor specialist came in, and explained everything to me, and said that I would need to come home and be with you guys and wait a bit. So I calmed down.

Then I got really sad that I wouldn’t be able to finish my mission. All the Elders called in my district to pass the stats and say they were home and I couldn’t talk to them because I was crying.

The lung specialist told me that I had to stay in the hospital to take care of the Pneumonia. So I was in the hospital, and on Wednesday, our phone died and we couldn’t talk to President Camarillo, so at like 1 him and his wife came to visit me.

Then the other Elders in our ward came so my comp could go for the phone charger and go visit some investigators.

So Elder Neddo stayed with me and he is one of my best friends out here, so that made things really nice. But then President came in and told me that I would be coming home, and then him and Elder Neddo gave me a blessing, and then we sat and talked to President and his wife, so that helped me get my mind off things. So that was my experience in the hospital. 

I feel really good now, I still get tired really fast, but my lungs aren’t hurting and I can sleep, today was changes so I got to see Elder Ellis and Elder Worth (my Mtc comps)  in the bus station. It was hard to say bye to them, but it was really good to see them.

As I was sitting in the hospital, two scriptures came to mind that really helped me, the first was Ether 12: 6 that when Moroni talks about faith, that we receive no testimony until after the trial of our faith. And in that moment I knew that this was just another trial of my faith, and together I thought about Mathew 26 33, when Christ is suffering for our sins, where he went a little farther and fell on his face.

He asked the father that the cup could pass by him, but not for his will, but the will of the father. And I thought about that how many times in our lives struggles come and we have these challenges, where they test our faith, but really it is the will of our father, and I know that this is part of the plan that he has for me, its hard to accept. It’s really, really hard. It’s definitely not what I want to happen, I would give anything to stay here and finish my mission.

But it’s not about what I want its about what he wants. I feel so blessed to have been able to serve out here in Mexico, I love these people more than anything, and it is so hard to say goodbye like this, but I know it will help me and I will come past this and receive an even stronger testimony of Gods plan for us.

I love you all so much, I am really excited to see you all too, thank you to everyone who is praying and fasting for me, I can feel the strength. And yes mom mashed potatoes and gravy is perfect, just buy me a bottle of Tabasco sauce, maybe some limes and tortillas as well and it will be perfect. Love you all and see you in two days.

Love Auzzy