Miracles

Aubrey's 17th birthday! If you'll notice Austin is growing facial hair now! He came out with a dark mustache and pulled some waterproof mascara out of his pocket and said,"I used this eyeliner stuff on my mustache to make it more noticeable but it won't wash off now…" 

We told him it was called mascara…waterproof mascara…and then I couldn't look at him when I talked to him for the rest of the night without laughing! I kept having to turn my head to talk to him!!!

Going through chemo was hard, but more so for Austin. I personally was ok through chemo, although I would have an occasional breakdown. 

One time I was just eating a meal with my son Josh across the kitchen bar from me and I broke down and started sobbing, then I yelled at him, "DON'T YOU EVER GET CANCER!"  I was sobbing in between yelling.

Poor Josh didn't know where to look. He had a slight smile on his face and said ok that he wouldn't get cancer…I'm sure he was thinking…."Crazy Mom…"

I had never been at peace with Austin's Cancer. But peace finally came when our Stake had a fast. Many people might think that the miracle of so many people fasting and praying all over the world would be that Austin would be healed, which that was definitely a miracle. But another miracle was my change of heart.

When our Church leaders approached us asking if they could fast in Austin's behalf, the first thing I thought of was a special fast we had as a ward when I was young (about 7 or 8). In the front room of our home I remember kneeling in a circle with my family after church to pray for our neighbor Jane Burningham ( A Mother of 6) who was losing her battle with cancer. I remember pleading as a Family that she would be healed, and then I remember at the end my Dad praying that the will of God be above all our wishes. ( I remember thinking,"No!, don't say that Dad!") Well, she died soon after the fast, and I remember my Mother saying how great God was to take her so quickly so she wouldn't suffer. She said that our prayers had been answered.

I know the power of prayer and I do trust in it, I also know sometimes I don't love the answers to those prayers. Submission to the will of God was being my downfall in my current situation. 

What changed my heart? When I fasted, it caused me to reflect on what I know, not just believe about God and my relationship with him. It reminded me of what I know to be true. The first thing that I know without a doubt is that I don't know much of anything. I am always having to rely on God for answers. I'm one of those crazy people (that many make fun of) who pray over everything like where to get the best deals grocery shopping….yes, I am one of those…but God guides me. I pray over what I should do that day in the morning…and he guides me…I pray over which road to take when I drive my car…and God guides me.

What do I know for sure?  I know that God loves me and is interested in what I do. That every person on this earth is important to him. That our Savior's love is so powerful that there is no way our physical bodies could take feeling the same way he does. And that he would never do anything, or allow anything to happen that wasn't for our benefit. I know that if the outcome of our lives is in his hands everything will be ok. If my son lived or if he died, everything would be ok.

Well, Austin is healed now…well he is healing. But he is doing very well. He didn't die and I miss those days ( maybe it's bad to say this) but I miss the days he was so sick that he stayed right by my side so I could rub his back and tickle his feet for hours. He has such a peaceful presence and he's a very enjoyable person just to be with….man I miss him. He is now off with friends all the time, he's getting ready to go work to make money for school and live his adult life.

There is still the post Cancer world to deal with and always a scare that something will return. We go back every 6 weeks for the next 3 years for blood work and scans. But I am at peace now about the what ifs'.

 Austin is living his life to the fullest. He is doing everything the doctor told him not to do and shooting basketballs and running around too soon. He throws up still, and is in quite a bit of pain from surgery and from not listening to doctors about taking it easier, but he's living life as he usually does…with his motto…"Come what may and love it." 

Auzzy is Home!!!!!!!!

This is the pillow he uses to cough.

We were told he could go home after he ate breakfast….he didn't eat breakfast and he wouldn't wake up!!!! He was still nauseated. But we left thinking he would do better at home. He finally kept his eyes opened after waking him up for the 3rd time…we didn't want to pressure him…it was a long morning...

They wheeled him down and we put him in the car after 12:00 p.m! No throwing up!!!! Yay!!!! So far so good…

He was hungry, the first thing he ate was cold cereal and some root beer someone left anonymously on our porch! (THANK YOU WHOEVER YOU ARE!!!!) He kept it down...

Now onto recovery….he'll be out the door with friends in no time…and I will be missing him again...

Dec 16, 2014  1:25 p.m. and counting...


Still at the Hospital. If he holds his food down we'll go home. If not we stay......


6:35 p.m.  we're here another night...

Hospital Update - Dec 15, 2014

We didn't get to bring him home today. They removed the epidural from his back, and removed the rest of his tubes. He still wouldn't eat today and was extremely nauseated. After getting some more iv nausea medication he was able to eat 2 bags of skittles. And he kept them down. Wouldn't eat anything else. Steve wasn't too happy with his diet….oops! My fault:/
He seems to be at his best right after medication is given. When it runs out he gets real sick again. He says his chest is starting to hurt now that the epidural is gone, but not too bad. It's mainly nausea.
I really think he will be coming home in the morning tomorrow, or at least the afternoon. Unless they want to see him eat before he goes home.
He only was able to walk once today. His blood pressure was too low to exercise. But it is great to see him without any tubes on his body.
Until tomorrow….

Recovery-Dec 12-14/ 2014
He was doing so well, they moved him from ICU to the 3rd floor. He walked himself up to the 3rd floor. (The homeless man was still sleeping nights in the waiting room.)

A therapist comes in twice each day to make him walk. The yellow box on the iv stand is an epidural they have hooked to his back…the kind you get when you have babies. There are also 2 tubes coming out of his lower chest to remove fluid from his surgery. As soon as they consider the lung is ok then they will remove that tube and they will see how he does with out the epidural. They will slowly give him less epidural medicine and see how he tolerates the pain. If he has too much pain they will leave the epidural in for longer.

As soon as they put him on the 3rd floor, we were able to sleep at night there. They have a couch that doubles as a bed. Steve stayed at night with him Friday. I stayed Saturday night.

On Friday night he was still feeling great. He had a few friends come visit, which always helps him feel better.

Saturday night he started getting worse. He was nauseated and wouldn't eat. He threw up while I held his chest. It hurts to cough or anything else. He's started having headaches, I think they're from his red blood cell count being too low.

I left at noon Sunday and he still hasn't felt like eating anything. They removed his tubes right before I left and he said it helped a lot!

In her hand are the 2 tubes that were inside him to drain all the blood and fluid from surgery. From her hand to the end was inside his chest. If he gives me permission I'll show the extraction. But my whole Family was getting mad at me for filming it……Auzzy loved it however, and watched it with a smile! (He could make his brother Kyle's Man's blog with that one!!!)

If all goes well now the tubes are out, he will be coming home tomorrow or Tuesday. But I think it will be Monday! Yay!!!! Then we will become nurses!!!!!

I just got a phone call that Santa came to visit him!!!! I missed Santa!!!! I get the throw up!!! Steve got Santa on his watch!!!! Oh well….

I'll update later.

It's later. Steve is staying with him tonight. He most likely won't be coming home tomorrow. He threw up twice while Santa was there, so they are keeping the epidural in his back a little longer.

Santa brought him the game of operations and some reeces candy. He will eat the reeces when he feels better, but the game of operation was used all night:)

He was able to eat 2 tangerines and a pear that the Stirlings brought to him. Then he had a little bit of Sheri Yates pumpkin chocolate chip bread. So far so good. They gave him IV nausea meds, so hopefully he can start getting better with the medication.

Santa was used to cooler weather. It was really hot in the Hospital room for him. But he survived! Thanks for visiting Santa!!!!!!

His friends came tonight and he looked great, then they left and he fell right asleep.

Lets see what tomorrow brings! 

Thank you for your prayers everyone!

Dec 11th, 2014

Steve slept over at the Hospital with Aust. I woke up about 5 a..m. to join them. I was still tired, so we all slept until they came for him. I had crazy dreams while I was sleeping. At 7:15 a.m. he was rolled into surgery.

We waited in the ICU waiting area. When we first went in there was a couple sleeping on 2 of the couches. My heart went out to them. They looked so tired. I wondered if they had an emergency surgery for a loved one because it was so early. So we went to a different part of the waiting room so they could sleep.

Steve went to get some water which was right by where they'd been sleeping. They had woken up and were talking. When steve came back with the water he told me he'd over heard them. They were 2 homeless people just finding a place for the night! The guy was saying how he hadn't wanted to sleep at the shelter. They left soon after we came in.

Next the waiting began…….we kept hearing them shout emergencies over the intercom and each time we would panic thinking it was Austin. There were 3 surgeons working simultaneously cutting out the tumor. The Doctor had a nurse call us periodically to update us, so we started to calm down about the intercom emergencies.

At about 10 a.m. they called to let us know it was going well but very slowly and that they would call in another couple of hours. The Doctor finally came out at 1:40 to let us know it was all finished. He had lots of pictures on his camera and his phone. He said he would send them. The tumor was 14 centimeters long. It had all the layers of skin and had lots of nerves. It looks like a heart to me…not that I know what a heart looks like...

They were able to get all of the Tumor, therefore no radiation! The Doctor did take a piece of his right lung, but not enough to notice anything. As part of recovery the lung has to re-inflate. The tumor had completely compressed the right lung. He said the Tumor was pressing dangerously on the right side of his heart and had grown in with a nerve that controls the diaphragm. He thinks he saved the nerve, but wasn't sure.

.
They thought they would have to cut him twice, but he only needed one very large incision!

The ICU- They don't mess around in this unit. They don't like many people there. Each time you walk in they have to verify with his nurse that it is ok to come back. Doors are locked and they don't like you spending the night.
Only 2 people at a time were allowed in the ICU. So we all took quick turns. Then Steve and I stayed with him until night. Steve left before dinner to take care of kids, while I stayed until about 9. I just wanted to meet the night nurse. He was very good, so I felt comfortable leaving him.

Austin went into this surgery thinking he would have to do radiation afterwards. (They didn't think they could get it from around the heart.) When we told him they had gotten all of it, he said, "So I'm done? It's over?" Then he cried...

They didn't use his power port in his chest. They used that blue thing stuck in his neck for fluids and medications. I guess they aren't authorized to use the port.

They went through his sternum and then lifted his right rib cage to work on him. To put the Sternum back together they put a plate and screws to hold it together. (He asked if he could fly in an airplane now without getting frisked in security. This happened to him when he was younger! Trauma!!!!) Sorry son, probably not….! 

This is him smiling!!!!

Ice chips were his first meal at night. He was very thirsty but they don't let them drink anything for a while. Then it's a clear liquid diet (water only) for the rest of the night. It's amazing what just a few hours will do! 

He is recovering well. He was told not to lift anything heavy nor play football or such for 6 months. He really wanted to start working out…we'll have to ask about weights…

Thank you to everyone that has prayed and fasted for us. I know miracles have happened. We're soooo grateful to all of you.

16 Therefore, let your hearts be comforted concerning Zion; for all flesh is in mine hands; be still and know that I am God.

D & C 101:16

Dec. 10th 2014
When I tried to wake Austin up this morning, I told him we needed to leave soon. His reply was, "Why? Where are we going?"
Me…..  "Ummmm……Surgery today?"
Aust….. "Oh ya, that's right."

On our way to the Hospital we saw this sign from Pizza Pie Cafe on 5th south!

So sweet! Thank you Pizza Pie Cafe!!!!! Thank you Higginson family!!!!!!

When we arrived at the Hospital there was no parking! We have been going for chemo here since August, and I had never seen it so full! There was no parking even in the cancer patient area. So we parked far far away!

We parked somewhere in the distance in this pic!

Of course when the parking lot is full, it must mean the Hospital is full also! We waited for our room to be cleaned. They were very nice. I told them to take their time. I didn't want a dirty room...

 No room in the Inn!!!!!

The first medical person to assist us in our room was Pedro from Mexico! Made Austin feel right at home! He was very good to us….everyone was. With it being so busy, we were constantly checked on. They did a great job. 

We had blood tests, respiratory tests, an EKG, Orientation and 2 of the Doctors came in to talk to us about the morning.

The Dr. told us that the worst that could happen is that he dies, the second he loses his whole right lung,  but he thinks it will all go well! He also said he doubted if they would have to stop the heart.

They weren't sure from all the scans if the Tumor had entered any tissue. The only way to find out if it had invaded the lung and/or heart or only compressing it was to cut into it and see. 

So we will find out tomorrow how bad that tumor is!

He seemed to want to be alone for most the day. At the end of the day, the Family came to visit!

Good luck tomorrow Auzzy!!!!!

Surgery-
We admit Auzzy Wed December 10th at the IMC Hospital 53rd South in Murray. He will stay Wed day and night for testing, then be wheeled into surgery first thing Thursday Morning. We were told his surgery will take 4 to 6 hours. I have been most worried about how they are going to cut the tumor out near the major valves of the heart with the heart moving. But I just found some info online!

While you’re on the heart-lung machine, the surgeon can repair to your heart while your heart stays still. Usually, when the major part of the surgery is over (when the repair(s) are done, you are removed from the heart-lung machine and your heart begins working again) your family will be told. You will probably stay in the surgical suite for a couple of hours for a total of several hours for the surgery and observation period. Then you’ll be moved to the ICU.

The above is for open heart surgery and Auzzy's surgery is a bit more complicated and takes longer.  They have to cut slowly around the major vessels and also they might have to remove some lung. But it gave me some comfort to know the heart wouldn't be moving while cutting the tumor out near important parts….at least I'm assuming...

Auzzy has been visiting friends for a few days who are away at college…he's still not home! He's living it up! He lives life to the fullest, that's for sure!

Lately Auzzy has made tons of dying jokes…..It's not funny to me, but I've gotten used to them. I've never seen him sad about having cancer. I have seen him anxious about treatment, and there was like a dark gloomy cloud hovering over us during chemo….which I've never felt before in our home. 

The only time he broke down was when I read him a message from his mission Presidents Wife. He sobbed for quite a while. He said he just wanted to be back with everyone in Mexico serving on his mission. 

There was one day I remember during chemo that he didn't say a word all day. He had his eyes closed most of the day and could barley move…then I turned my phone on as we were leaving and found this creepy picture of him!

He had taken a pic on my phone and put it on as my screen saver without me knowing! I jumped and then laughed. He always has a way of lightening the mood. 

On Monday he was able to Skype with Tim who is serving in Peru. You know….just incase….. Auzzy and Tim share the same Birthday 2 years apart. This will be the second birthday they haven't spent together. We tried to stay away so just the 2 of them could talk but….I had to sit, listen and look! Tim looked so good! And they had a great time!

A throw back pic when they were younger!

Tim's mission President is incredible! He has been so thoughtful and kind. He's just what we needed during this time! Tim has learned and will learn a lot from him! Tim said he had trouble for about a week with worrying about Austin, but then felt total peace about everything and has been able to get right back to work.

Thank you to everyone who has prayed and fasted for him. We've been blessed. I'll try and add more about the Surgery after it's done…..unless Austin skipped town….I do hope he returns so we can get this done! 12:31 a.m. and counting! And I hear him coming through the garage! Yay!!! Bed time!